Living Life From The Inside Out!

Life can be tricky sometimes. We think we know how it all works and then we discover that we’ve had it backwards all along or that it’s not what we thought at all. Most of us live our lives as though we need to do this to get that in order to be happy, fulfilled, confident, (insert adjective of choice). We have been taught this from the time we are children. After an unpleasant visit to the dentist or doctor, we got a lollipop to soothe our discomfort and make us feel better. When we cried as babies, we were given a toy or a pacifier to calm us down. This created an association between whatever we wanted to feel within and something that was out there. I think we can agree that most of what we do in this life is aimed at experiencing certain states of being such as love, joy, peace and fulfillment, and avoiding states such as suffering, anger and disappointment. All of these states have one important thing in common: they exist within us.

And yet it is so easy for us to believe that they exist in the people, places and things around us. The tricky part is that those external things give us access to the whole range of states and emotions from love to fear but they are not the end destination in and of themselves. And yet we experience life as though this person makes us happy, our job makes us angry, we feel great when we’re sipping pina coladas on a beach. When we approach life from this perspective, we give away all of our power to create our own experience and we live at the hands of other people, circumstance and external things.

The truth is that we have access to happiness, anger, sadness, elation, inspiration, depression, creativity, fulfillment and all the rest of it all the time. It’s totally up to us what state we want to create and what space we want to operate from. The irony of it is that we are going to attract more of what we are already experiencing and as it has been said here on TDL many times, we will always find what we are looking for.

This morning I woke up feeling kind of off and a little blah. I spent some time with the feeling and upon further inspection, I discovered that my thoughts kept gravitating towards what is lacking in me and in my life. This is almost a default headspace that seems to creep up on me and it’s something I continue to practice becoming aware of and choosing to transform by consciously inhabiting a different mindset.

I did some more digging and I came to the realization that if I went through my day in this state, NOTHING that I might experience out there could change the way I was feeling. That’s when it occurred to me that the only option was to change the way I was feeling first and then the day’s experience could follow. So I asked myself: “How do I want to feel? What do I want to feel?” I sat with LOVE for a few moments. Then I tried PEACE. Then I spent a few minutes in GRATITUDE. What’s interesting is that in searching for these states within myself, at times I was able to take the route of picturing people, places and things, but it always came back to me and what I was feeling within. After a little while of doing this, the feeling of unease had given way to a deep sense of peace and a strong presence of love and gratitude within me. From this place of fullness within, I could go out and meet the day with my focus on all that is rather than all that is lacking.

Love is a word but it is also a feeling. We can say “love” or read and write about it all we want but to really know love is to know it experientially as the warm, expansive sensation in OUR hearts that is there all the time, that is limitless and that is one of life’s greatest treasures. So if you really want to feel love, stop looking for out there and start to become present to the fact that it’s already in you in abundant supply and FEEL it.

Similarly, let’s not blame the world around us for our anger or upset. Let us each be responsible for the emotions and states we allow ourselves to experience and remember that we are the ones choosing. Yes, we choose to be angry. We choose to let this thing or that person piss us off. If we want anger, there’s plenty of that available too. It’s a choice.

At the same time, it’s worth noting what people, places and things we have particular associations with. If we find ourselves feeling really free and self-expressed around a particular person, that’s a great thing and we may choose to spend more time with that person. The important thing is to remember that they are not the ones making us feel great but that we are allowing ourselves to feel that way in their presence. Similarly, if a particular person or situation continues to cause us to feel stress or unease, it’s good to be aware of that, too. The solution may be to use the relationship or situation as an opportunity for growth or it might be to spend less time there. It’s up to you.

Ultimately, it’s about shifting the paradigm and living from the inside out. That means realizing that whatever it is we want to experience starts within and then shows up in our physical world. So set your internal GPS to love, to abundance, to peace and to passion and witness the miracle of your creative power manifesting, see your choice within come to being in the world around you.

Everything you desire is already there within you waiting to be discovered and expressed. What do you want to experience today?

Much love,


Written for The Daily Love (April 14th, 2012)